MOON MOON

I re-read Milkman because a girl I followed recently on social media mentioned loving it. I read this years ago and I don't have fond memories of it. I remember it was hard to get through - confusing without being rewarding. I read some reviews of it yesterday and I think most people have the same sentiment. Incidentally, there is something very entertaining about reading negative reviews. Someone likened this book to getting a root canal, which is a painful way to describe any art form and would have deterred me from re-reading this book had I read the review prior to starting the book. I think people just have more to say when they dislike something and the transparency of their rage if quite funny to me. I wish I could join in on the fun but I can't since I actually had a good experience reading Milkman the second time around.

It is true that the narrative voice in Milkman is confusing. The sentences run on and on, the paragraphs and chapters are long and it's hard to find a good break off point. Places and people are not named in this book. Instead, there are descriptors used as placeholders to refer to things. These all compound to make a lyrical and engaging prose. It can take awhile to get used to. You might even have to re-read it at some point but I think this thing that most people don't like about it is one of it's strongest points.

Even though it's not explicitly mentioned, it's easy to infer that the book is set in Northern Ireland during the Troubles. It's fascinating to me that it's been mostly lauded for capturing the atmosphere of that time perfectly. I don't pretend to understand what it must feel like to live in a time of heightened surveillance (from the state, the community and even from yourself) but while reading Milkman, I felt that I could glimpse the exhaustion and paranoia it afford in the way middle sister, the main character, responds to her situation.

Milkman can be a frustrating read not least because of middle sister. She is often frozen in place, a passive participant who lets things happen to her instead of making decisions and acting on it. She shields herself with silence and numbness, feeds the gossip mill by refusing to explain her side of the story. It's hard to fault her for this because the few instances where she explains herself, she is met with disbelief or dismissal. As the story progresses, middle sister is forced to face the consequences of her inactions.

The truth was dawning on me of how terrifying it was not to be numb, but to be aware, to have facts, retain facts, be present, be adult.

I was coming up against the ambivalences in life.

Despite the bleakness, Milkman still manages to end on a positive note. There is love, hope and freedom to look forward to.